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Gayla

sorry. for a moment there i thought i was presenting a travel programme.

firstly, i know you are all thinking that i hardly update anymore, and that i am a terrible buddy because i hardly ever reply to notes. i am sorry. please dont delete me from your buddylists. because as of tomorrow i will be good and great and a brill buddy once again. because today is Danny's last day in our office.

its very sad. because i never got to have sex with him.

but i do have his number!

so anyway, what have i been up to since we last spoke?

i have been drunk!

went out Thursday night with My Vicky, but it was a bit boring if i am going to be brutally honest with you (which i am). the only bright star in an otherwise shit night, was that when we went to get pizza afterwards, the man in Pizza Giant gave me a pound off my order. for being such a good customer. not only that, but while we were waiting for the pizza to cook, he gave us some kebab meat as a tasty snack while we waited.

actually i dont know if this is such a good thing, as it really just says "You are a fat bitch".

Friday was my bosses leaving do. it was quite good, a few of us went out. i got on the gin (which is never a good thing for the rest of the world), and had a go at a man in The Dragon. to be honest though he did ask for it! he was stood in the way of the toilets, and i POLITELY asked him to move and he tutted and went "oh, for fucks sake"

to which i replied

"Well if you're going to stand in the way of the fucking toilets, you will get asked to fucking move!"

which i though was a good point well made.

i also made up with Karen on Friday, which is a good thing.

i then fell over on the dance floor of Senoritas.

no matter how many times i do it, i still cannot make falling over drunk look attractive.

i was dancing, in what i imagine i thought was a sexy way (as you do after eight double gins, two double JD's and a white wine spritzer), and while shimmying backwards, i sort of shimmied back a bit too far and lost my balance, and landed, quite spectacularly, on my arse.

i would like to believe that no-one saw. however that is unlikely, as when i fell, the crowd on the dance floor parted like Moses parting the sea.

so i am fairly certain that people saw.

Saturday, me and My Vicky went out again, and met up with a few people in Senoritas. i was having a really good night, until i spotted an enourmous pair of teeth gleaming at me from the other side of Senoritas, and i realised, that we were now in the presence of my ex-boyfriend Wizz.

he is one of the three brothers that i have been with as long term readers will well know. the other two brothers are D-D-D-Dean and Jason.

now. after seeing Wizz on Saturday i am wondering why none of my friends pointed out something to me.

WHAT A COMPLETE COCK HE IS!!!!!!!!

he is soooooooooo ugly. which i was aware of when i was with him, but i thought was cute. i can only conclude that i must've been permanently blinded by the shadow of his gigantic teeth, or have had a chemical imbalance in my brain, caused by too many orgasms (he was very good in bed)

he really smarmed his way over, and smarmily asked if i wanted a drink. then smarmily brought my drink over and smarmily sat down and asked how i was.

to put it bluntly he is smarmy.

he was full of all the "oh, you look so good" and "Me and Kyli (his WIFE) have been arguing loads lately"

in some ways i was glad that i saw him, because i was having a great time, with good friends, and i really LOOKED like i was enjoying myself.

he however looked like a lost little boy.

we swapped numbers and he text me on Sunday morning saying "was really nice seeing you, hope you had a good night"

we ended up in Vision again on Saturday, which was good because we were with Glen, Stu and Jay. who are an attractive group of men.

i shall not say anything else about the night, except for Sally was in there. and she was wearing a hat.

yesterday, of course was Mothers Day, the day we celebrate our mothers (or in my case, My Cliff)

it took me forever to find a card suitable for Cliff because she likes cards with nice words. if i ever dared to buy her a funny card i would probably be excluded from the family for a period of 4-6 months.

i cant just get any card with nice words though. i cant just pop out at lunchtime, find a card with nice words and then give her that. oh no. they have to be the RIGHT words. trust me, buying a card for Cliff is an all day project. i have to go round every card shop in town, and scan each card individually, before deciding on the correct one. i darent buy a card before i have checked out all the possible choices, because i may find one later that would be better. once i have found the correct card, i then have to select the appropriate message to write inside. i find that "Mum, Happy Mothers Day, all my love Becks, P.S thanks for everything" never fails, so i tend to stick with that one.

it really would be helpful if the card shops in Weston each had a section that said "APPROPRIATE CARDS FOR CLIFF, THIS WAY" or better yet, if there was a shop in Weston, just called "Cards that Cliff will Love"

it is highly unlikely, however, that either of these dreams of mine will come true.

*HUGS* TOTAL give me some lovin' *HUGS*
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