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Gayla

so. Whats going on in my life right now? well. I still love DAVIE more than i love Chinese food (and that is A LOT!), but we are still "friends". and he still doesnt know. Joey Baby keeps threatening to tell him, just to shut me up talking about him. i said to her "Joey, your my best mate, who else am i supposed to talk to about him?" but she just sighs and rolls her eyes. she is so unreasonable.

Now, I dont think I gave DAVIE a very good press in my last entry, but thats because i had a lot to say and only 800 characters to do it in. but when i tell you this next story he may go up in your estimations.

Last week, Joey decided she wanted to get back with Andy (dont stop reading here and think that we have just been teleported back to last year, this saga, boring as it is, is still ACTUALLY going on. you think its bad reading about it, you should try LIVING through it!). she decided this the weekend i was at my Dads in Feltham, so i had literally been through the door 10 minutes, when Joey came in crying saying "Oh Bex, its all gone Pete Tong!!!" What had happened was, over the weekend Joey had realised that Matt IS actually the most boring man (and biggest baby) known to humanity, so when he went down the shop she text Andy saying she wanted him back (please dont lose the will to live), and could they meet up on the Monday (the day i came back). so they did. And that is when Andy told Joey that he had got his disgusting tramp bag of a girlfriend up the duff, and therefore, even though he still loves my Joey (well who wouldnt?), and he's not particularly enamoured with Tramp Bag, he is going to stand by her. which is commendable in a way. but not good for My Joey. or me actually, i love Andy to pieces, even though he can be a pain in the arse at times. i much prefer him to Matt. Andy would never argue with me for 20 minutes over whether Bob Geldof was in The Boomtown Rats or Pink Floyd (yes he actually did think he was in Pink Floyd). Andy would also never spend the rest of the night crying just because me and Joey refused to turn off the Michael Jackson C.D (that is an ACTUAL true story folks). so anyway, it is safe to say i like Andy much better than Matt. but that is a selfish reason for me to want them to get back together. i cant ring up Andy and say "Hey And, mate, can you leave your pregnant Tramp Bag coz i really like you a lot better than Matt". actually i can do that because i did it. twice.

Anyhoo, I'm going off on a bit of a tangent there, like i do. its just because I am sooooo excited to have as much time as i like on here and i dont have to pay £2.50 a time!!!

So after Andy told Joey that old Scabby Knickers was pregnant, Joey had a stark choice to make. Joey does not like to be single. no she does not. not in any way, shape or form. So she thought "Do i not bother telling Matt that I asked Andy back and just carry on as normal?" or "Do i do the right thing and tell him that he is second best to another man?" and my Joey, shockingly for her, chose the latter. she told him. Matt however, understandably considering how obsessed he is with Joey, did not take the news too well. So while i took Joey down the pub to drown her sorrows at both of the situations going Pete Tong, Matt, it would appear, went out and drank Weston dry.

Anyway, after the pub had closed, me and Joey went home to crack open the vodka (maybe not the best idea on a monday night, but i had already phoned Joeys work and told them she wouldnt be in on Tuesday). It got to about 1am, Matt had been drunkenly phoning Joey all night, and not really making any sense, and then she got a text from him saying "I am outside". i know. scary stalker bananas. obviously Joey didnt want to see him, so was left to the old Betcholater to go and tell him. and i tried to be nice, (because, even though he is a big baby, and a whinging whingebag, and i prefer Andy, i do actually quite like him) and i opened the door a teeny way and just said "she doesnt want to se you right now, why dont you get some sleep and come back tomorrow", to which he literally shoved me out of the way and stomped up to Joeys. Well. i had the RIGHT hump then, and tried to stop him, but he pushed me down and shouted right in my face that i was a vindictive bitch(!), and he kept saying "still in love with Andy are you? second best to Andy am i?" over and over again, and in the end i said to him "Yes you are Matt, just deal with it" and he slapped me round the face!!!! i was sat on the floor at this point, and tried to get up, but my foot got caught in the bottom of my trousers, and i fell back on my knees, then Joey was hitting him screaming "How dare you touch her", then i managed to get back up, to which he then PUNCHED me in the face, and i fell down, then he was on top of Joey with his hands round her throat, and he was trying to reach for me, but i was too far away, and he was saying "I'll fucking strangle both of you bitches!" i then kicked his legs from under him and he fell down and then he left.

Anyway, me and Joey were quite shaken up afterwards, and i dont know why but i text DAVIE and told him what happened. i think i just wanted some comfort. and bless him, he had been asleep (it was 2am), and he got on his bike and rode all the way from his house in Worle (which is about 4 miles away), to ours, to come and see if we were ok!! and he really cuddled me, and Joey, and stayed with us until we had calmed down. He was so sweet, i couldnt believe he had come all that way, at that time in the morning. Espacially when he had been asleep. he wanted to kill Matt, but i said to him not to, because i dont want him going back to prison. But how nice was that of him? has he gone up in your estimations now?

Incidentally, Joey and Matt are now back together. Do not even get me started.

So what else has been happening? oh i wa-harred with a bloke last week. he is my friend Chris's son (Chris is 50 by the way, its not like she's my sort of age and i slept with her son who is 9). Theres not really a lot to tell. He's really cute in a kind of Harry Potter kind of way, and quite small, but his willy certainly was not!! in fact i think i said to him when he got it out "My my, that is a large penis for such a small man", because as we all know, i am not well known for my subtelty.

Oh and my Grandparents celebrated their 50th anniversary 2 weeks ago. my Mother, the beloved Cliff, gave a wonderful speech at the gathering which went something like this "Happy Anniversary" and then threw confetti on them. That speech was second only to my Grandads speech at Cliff and Rogers wedding which went

"Just like to thank you all for coming. We're welcoming Roger into the family. And we hope they will all be very happy together. So if you could raise your glasses to Christine and Roger"

Well done Grand (i dont call him Grandad i just call him Grand, because i am a fat bird, and we are known for being lazy).

So thats about it! thank you all for your congrats on my weight loss. I'm still going, target weight is 10 stone 10 pounds (thats 150 pounds to you yanks).

Oh and i have a couple of questions for you all to answer.

To those who dont live in England. Have you ever been to England? if so what part did you visit, and what did you think of it?

To those in England. Have you ever been to my little hometown Weston-Super-Mare? if you have what did you think of it, where did you go etc?

To those in the USA. Which TV programme is more popular over there? Is it 8 Simple Rules, Hope& Faith or Less Than Perfect? And who is your fave character in theses shows? mine are Bridget (8SR), Charlie (H&F) and Lydia (LTP).

oh, and anybody want to do my Johari Window? they are so cool!!!

I'll be back online tomorrow to check!!! i got access again tomorrow, ye ha!!!!

i love you all

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