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Gayla

but anyway no-one wants to hear about my stomach. even when its perfectly fine its not my best feature (but according to Mallen my best feature is my nose - thats lovely isnt it?).

so wehats been happening in the life of Betchy? well, i havent had sex since November 2nd (i can practically feel my innocence returning), Mallen has dyed his beard pink (for a festive joke), and DAVIE is now going out with a 16 year old who he made me meet. me and DAVIE are still mates, he has no idea that i am so completely head over heels in love with him i can hardly see straight. and i'm not going to tell him, so you're not allowed to either. ok? i do have the advantage over 16 year old slapper (lets call her 16 YOS because i hate her. her name is actually Heidi, but whatev)because i still see quite a lot of his family and they all hate her!!! in fact a few weeks ago it was his Mums (Liz) birthday, and she invited me out for a drink with them all, but i couldnt go because i had already arranged to go to a party with Sal (i'm like a social butterfly you know), so because i couldnt go i got her a card and sent her a text to say happy birthday etc. i found out a few days later via Elaina (DAVIE's brothers girlfriend), that when they all went back to the house after the pub, Liz, the complete legend kept saying to DAVIE, in front of 16YOS "David, did i tell you Becky sent me a text? and a card? go and have a look at the card Becky sent me David, and she sent me a text as well, she's lovely Becky" repeatedly throughout the whole evening. if i had been there i would have kissed her. unfortunately, no matter how much his Mum likes me, she is not the one i want to sleep with every night for the rest of my life, so it doesnt really matter.

anyway enough about DAVIE. oooooh no actually just one more quich thing, we went to a funeral together on Monday, and went back to his afterwards (where 16YOS was ill IN HIS BED!!!) and when he saw me to the door, he pulled me to him in a massive hug, and then kissed me on the LIPS, for a little bit too long. and he has phoned me a few times since aswell. yesterday in fact, he rang me. i just dont know whats going on. i know i finished with him, but that was only because i thought he was getting fed up with me and was seeing Donna behind my back. i didnt know that finishing with him would make me become completely infatuated with him. boo hoo.

because i have been off work sick i havent been out much. i went out over my birthday because Memma treated me to a night out the night before. it was quite funny actually, because in the run up to midnight Mallen kept saying "only ten minutes untill your birthday Bec" "Bec only three minutes till your birthday" etc etc, then at midnight he actually made the whole of Senoritas (practically) sing happy birthday to me. which was quite sweet, if a little embarrassing.

only one more sleep till Christmas, whoo hoo!

last night the lovely Chicken and her lovely daughter K came round, and i think she will vouch for me when i say that the amount of times my mother (the beloved Cliff), tells me to be quiet, shut up or calls me a gobby cow, i may as well not have bothered learning to speak! its been the same since i got up this morning. i think the only two sentences i have uttered are "can you pass the brown sauce please" and "i quite like the Dizzee Rascal rap in this version of Band Aid" and when i said the second one the response i got was "well if SOMEONE stopped talking we might be able to hear it". nice. and for the last hour i have been here at the computer, not speaking, yet apparently when i type i sound like i am beating someione up! so even when i am not speaking or getting in anyones way i irritate my family. i'm so glad i was born.

it was fab to see My Fave Chicken andK last night. we had invited her to meet us at the pub, but didnt thinki she was going to come. then in she strolled!!! and i was very excited. it was K's birthday aswell, so it was extra special.

( can i just say quickly, that you know those dance things where you have to follow the arrows and copy the dance moves? my Auntie Claire has got one and has just put it on and Cliff is trying to do it and cant! that will teach her to tell me to be quiet)

Cliff, incidentally, has lost a fuckload of weight. as has my Uncle Dave, as has My Fave Chicken. i havent stopped pooing for the last 2 months, yet i am sure i have gained weight. why is that? why is everyone losing weight apart from me? why? oh yes, i know, its because i eat about 2 tons of pizza and chinese food a week. that will do it.

i am going to have to go now as i am being summoned to the dance mat. apparently a small earthquake is due around here and they need me to get the ball rolling. have a fab Christmas everyone, and i will try and update again over Xmas. i am here till Tuesday so plenty of time for everyone to leave me lots of lovely comments. i am, after all, a complete attention whore!!

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