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Gayla

luckily he found it amusing. my Nan said to me "Its supposed to be doddering old gits like me and your Granddad that do things like that, not youngsters like you! you daft sod"

brilliant. I've been called a daft sod by a woman who farts involuntarily, and once left the house without putting her trousers on.

i have come to the conclusion that i am an addict. in much the same way as a heroin addict or an alcoholic, except my addiction in food. and not good food. its crappy crap thats loaded with fat. This Wee Lass is probably going to kill me, but the more i try to be good, the worse i am. last night, me Joey and Matt went for a pint, and after Joey went to get a chow mein. i had already had my tea, wasnt even that hungry, but went and got a curry! why? i didnt need it! i didnt even eat much of it (most of it is waiting to be heated up for my tea tonight), but its like i just had to get it. lunchtime today, i went to McDonalds. i can literally see myself expanding by the day. i dont think i realise how fat i am, until i accidentally misconstrue how big my arse is, think i can fit through a gap, and end up knocking things over. i am, quite literally, disgusting. i am gaining new stretch marks on my stomach every day. when i sit down my tits rest on my belly. i look like a map of Spaghetti Junction when i get my kit off. its vile.

i have always been the one who doesnt care about my weight that much. i knew i was getting bigger, but i was never bothered. but i have got to that point now that i do. because i can feel it. i can feel the strain on my health. but i cannot excercise. i do not have the motivation to excercise. all i want to do when i get home after work, is crash out.

i went on a diet last summer (do you rememeber?) and i lost 2 stone (thats 28 pounds). where did i find the motivation? why did i stop? how can i find it again? i need to do something, because i'm going to end up killing myself. my body is literally going to give up on me. it will get too heavy to be able to function with just the organs for one person. there will be so much of me, i will need two hearts, two livers and four kidneys.

anyway, rant over. i thought i saw Little Legs last night, but it wasnt him. God its horrible not knowing where he is and if he is ok. Matt said the other day "He's in a better place. Kitty Heaven" i was like "Matt, i didnt even think that he might be dead until you just said that, you twat!"

oh, and for some fun click here. i have been doing it all day, its nearly as addictive as this. enjoy!

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