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Gayla

well. i was supposed to start eating healthily yesterday, as me and This Wee Lass are supposed to be dieting together, but me being me and having the willpower of a dog on heat, i fucked up. so i was going to try and start again today, but one of the women at work came back from Scotland yesterday, and she brough back shortbread, and i love shortbread, but i only had one biscuit, then when i went to get another one i had a Snack-a-Jack instead. i have to lose weight, i cant even walk anymore. thats a lie actually, i can still walk, but it hurts when i wear a skirt because my legs rub together and get sore. its costing me a fortune in talcum powder. and also, i get really out of breath when i'm walking. it cant be good. the next thing you know i wont be able to shag anymore due to being so fat, and where would i be then? up Shit Creek without a paddle is the answer to that.

so last night, i went to the shop to get some cat food, and i was strolling back, the guy who works in The Off License wolf whistled at me. so i stopped and chatted with him, and i am almost certain he was chatting me up. now. this is a bit of a worry for several reasons.

1. when me and Joey go into the Off License we are in one of two states

a) extremely hungover

b) extremely pissed

2. as its only round the corner and i am always in one of the above states i tend to go down there without my shoes on. hence the attractive "I am a tramp and cannot afford shoes" look. in fact on Saturday afternoon, me Joey and Matt all went down there in just our socks. we thought it was hilarious, but then we had started drinking vodka at about 10:30am.

3. i once actually went down there completely barefoot, sat on the floor and asked him if he wanted to smell my feet. because i am a charmer like that.

4. me and Joey tend to walk down there carrying our glasses of drink. making us look like exactly what we are. complete piss heads.

5. i am always, ALWAYS wearing grey jogging bottoms when i go in there. always. i have about 6 pairs, and when ever i stay in i wear a pair, and because when we go to the Off Licencse it means we ae staying in drinking, i am always in my grey joggers.

so i'm a little concerned that he is chatting me up, because if that is the kind of girl he is after, well he obviously has no class.

but then he does have a front tooth missing, so perhaps that is why he after the likes of me. because you cant be classy with no front tooth.

anyway boys and girls, i asked this question in my survey, but i will ask again. i am trying to update my buddylist, all those that havent updates for more than three months have gone leaving lots of room for nice new ones. so if you could please suggest to me a diary that will have me rolling around in stitches, or reaching for the tissues, please leave it in the comments section. thank you.

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