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i'm kidding!!!!!!!!!

ok, my date on Friday. We had arranged to meet in the Pig And Truffle pub, as he didnt know Weston too well, and that was the nearest pub to anywhere he knew. he was bringing his mate, and i took Lisa and Joey. i had seen a pic of him online, but on the pic he is wearing sunglasses, so i wasnt really sure what he looked like. anyway, we sat waiting and these two guys walked in, and we were pretty sure it was the, because they were looking a bit lost. they came over to the table, and the quite large one said "Becky?" and i said "Yes" and down they sat. after the initial awkwardness we all loosened up, and started to enjoy ourselves. Al (my "date") was really nice. he was absolutely hilarious and had me in stitches laughing. he was ok looking, but he was rather on the large side. yeah, i know, hypocrite because i am fat as fuck, but i cant help not fancying fat blokes. i really wish i did fancy him, because he would be perfect boyfriend material. he bought all the drinks, he gave me his coat when i was cold. he has rung every time he has said he will. he has a good job, his own place, everything ic right. but when i kissed him there was no fireworks. in fact i wanted to stop kissing him almost as soon as i started.

he also made the fatal mistake of trying to take a slice of my pizza, which we all know could cause the loss of an arm or two.

Lisa was snogging the face off of his mate aswell. he reminded her of Duncan. those of you that read My Girl Lisa will know all about Duncan. or Dumb Cunt as we like to affectionately call him, being that he is a complete and utter fuckwit! anyway, she really liked Jim (i kept wanting to call him "MeNamesJim" from that Harry Enfield sketch, but i was the only one who found it funny), and they did spend about 92% of the night with their lips locked, although, and i said this to her, they didnt actually look like they were kissing, they looked like they had fallen asleep with their lips pressed together, because their mouths weren't actually moving.

anyway, all in all it was a really good night. they were lovely, friendly, fun guys. i have spoken to him since and he has been texting me. he seems quite keen, but i dont want to lead him on. i enjoyed his company and think he would make a fun friend, but i cant make my tummy start jiving at the thought of him. which is upsetting.

oh, and when we got hom on Friday, mine and Joeys cock-arse neighbour, John, had locked us out of the house and we couldnt get in. so Matt (being the true man that he is) had to punch the glass panel in the front door so we could unlock it! how fucked up is that? Joey was going mental!

so anyway. Saturday. me and Joey started drinking at stupidly early o'clock, by about 8 i wanted nothing but to sleep, so i went downstairs to mine, Joey went to Matts, and all was well. until about 11:30 when my phone rang. you are all going to think what a dumb-head i am, and probably be cross with me, but dammit i am a woman and i have needs and i am not going to hide anything from you all so i will tell you.

it was Wizz (married ex-boyfriend). he wanted to know where i was because he was in Senoritas and shock horror, it was a Saturday and i wasnt there. he kept asking if he could come round and i was trying to explain that i was actually in bed asleep, so it wasnt really the best time. he kept on and on, so i said he could do what he liked, but if i didnt answer the door it was because i was asleep. and i was planning to go back to sleep and not answer the door. except my phone then decided to turn in to Piccadilly Circus, and the world and its wife decided to start ringing and texting me wanting to come round!!! why cant people just let me sleep? so i couldnt get back to sleep, hence i was awake when Wizz arrived.

those of you who know me should know i am pretty much always horny. so when Wizz came in, and pretty much before he even said hello, ripped of my dressing gown and started going down on me, well, who was i to argue? i'm guessing he isnt getting it at home again, because we went at it three times in a row, the final time i was saying goodbye at the front door when he ripped off my dressing gown again, and ravished me up against my hallway wall (knocking down my photo's i might add). still luckily for him, i dont know where my next shag is coming from either, and although i pretty much hate the bastard and would never dream of having a relationship with him again, i know he is a good fuck, and i know i am guarenteed a joyous moment. i'm like a man in that way. he even said to me "I'm not using you Becks" i said "yes you are, but thats fine with me, because i'm using you too"

he was tring to make it more than just a fuck when we were at it by saying things like "Hold me tight" and stroking my hair and saying "you're so beautiful". but i didnt want any of that. i wanted it to stay as what it was. a damn good fuck.

i am pleased that i dont have feelings for him anymore. because it was an incredibly messy break up, and i was in a bit of a state over it and so was he. but i am glad i had good sex, because i feel a bit less tense. obviously i needed a damn good seeing to.

i just wish i wasnt sat in work with lovebites all over my neck, because i look like a slut.

which i kind of am.

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