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Gayla

also thank you all for your encouraging and positive notes yesterday. i feel all special!!! you all made me feel so much better by telling me i wasnt a minger!!! and This Wee Lass was rather firm with me (if you have a spare hour, you can check it out on my notes page), but i love her for it! she's kind of like a big sister looking out for me!!!

anyway, with regards to the cock-arse that is Silver Fox, it would appear that the great big knob-end thought i wanted more from him than sex. Why he though this is a bit of a mystery to me, as i only ever text him saying "Pop round for a fuck" never "Pop round for a relationship". but anyway, i found this out because Emma spoke to him. When i told her about the evil text, Em went bezerk!!! i dont know where her anger came from, she just lost it big time, and said she was going to phone him up. first of all i was going to say no, but then i thought "fuck it, i dont care if he thinks i'm immature getting my friends to have a pop at him. in fact i dont give a fuck what he thinks of me full stop!" so i said to Em to go ahead and phone him.

well she did. and do you know what that arrogant little toss-pot said to her? "She knew it was just sex from the beginning" and Emma said "Yes, she wasnt after anything else but you were really rude to her and hurt her feelings" and he just kept saying that i knew the score from the start, and that Emma didnt have the right to get the hump with him. but Em said to me, "Lets just not bother contacting any of those dirty addicts again" and i am inclined to agree with her. they obviously have had so much booze and drugs over the years that their brains dont function properly. (By the way, i am not disrespecting anybody who has had alcohol or drug problems in the past. Fent is one of my best friends and he used to be a junkie. but if someone is disrespectful to me, i will be disrespectful back, hence the remarks about them being "Dirty addicts" etc. but please dont take offence, it is not aimed at all addicts, ex-addicts, alcoholics) in fact, Dave, Silver Fox's mate, who was also an addict and got kicked out of the Dry House for drinking, turned on Emma really badly and started calling her all names under the sun and accusing her of allsorts! so clearly they all have issues.

i composed a text to Silver Fox actually. i havent sent it, and dont know if i should (probably not), but it made me feel better to get what i wanted to say off my chest. i will put it here, and then you can tell me whether i should send it or not.

"What on Earth made you think i wanted anything more than sex from you? why the hell would i want anything else from an alkie scaghead like you? what the fuck have you got to offer me? you've got no job and you live on a pittance. why would that appeal to me? you were only good for one thing and that was a fuck. and yeah, it was good. which is the only reason i bothered at all. but i wanted nothing else from you, coz, lets face it, you got fuck all anyway."

its pretty harsh and evil, but gets the point across i think. shall i send it>

Thanks again for all your comments yesterday. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

oh, and Joey is swaying towards Matt more than Andy now. i have gone past caring.

bye all!

*HUGS* TOTAL give me some lovin' *HUGS*
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