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Gayla

now i am going to tell you all about something that has actually occupied most of my thoughts for a number of weeks now, but i dont talk about because i am scared of the negative comments i will get....and i know i will get them. the only D-Lander that knows about it apart from Lisa is this wee Lass. and i asked for her opinion because she is scottish.

anyhoo. this is what has happened so far. Lisa set me up a profile on this website, because she had one on there and thought it would be funny. i got a ton of responses (due to my gorgeous face probably - not). i started getting messages off of this guy called Graham. he seemed alright, bit of a dirty bugger and we were sending each other rude texts and stuff over the weekend. then he said he wanted to come and meet me, so i asked if he had a friend he could bring for Lisa and i texted him a pic of Lisa. (you have to pay close attention to this story because it confuses me at times). he said his mate didnt really like Lisa, but he liked me, but Graham didnt want to swap with him. then he said he would shag Lisa if i wanted him too, but i thought he was only joking.

on the Monday at work, the mate he was talking about, Gaz started messaging me, saying he really liked me and Graham was just a player. then Graham started messaging Lisa saying he wanted to fuck her aswell. i told Gaz that i didnt want to play 2 mates off against each other, but because i had started talking to Graham first i wanted to see what happened with him. i said to Gaz that we could still talk as mates but that was it (with me so far?) Gaz then sent me a message saying that if i tried to call Graham at around 8 that night i would find out that Graham was a fake and that Gaz was for real because Graham was going to meet a girl in Newcastle that night. Graham was supposed to be coming that weekend to see me, and although i didnt expect it to be exclusive, i thought that was taking the piss a bit. anyway Graham text me later that night saying he wouldnt be able to make it because he had to go to Newcastle at the weekend (he obviously didnt realise that Gaz had told me that was where his date was).

well i text Gaz then saying that he had been right, and i should have listened to him and was sorry i didnt. Gaz was lovely and said that he thought the world of me, and he had liked me to start with but Graham had got in there first. me and Gaz then started messaging and texting all the time and i must admit i really liked him. even though i hadnt met him. i thought he was lovely, and caring, and i couldnt wait to see him. we arranged for him to come down the weekend after Jo Pounds wedding (the 9th April) and he bought his ticket and everything and we were both really excited. then his Mum fell ill (bear in mind he lives in Scotland, which is ages away from me), so i told him to not come if she was really bad. he was still determined to try though and kept saying he wanted to come because he already had his ticket. anyway, he was meant to be coming on the Friday, and by the Wednesday he still hadnt given me an answer. Emma said to me that he was leaving me hanging on, but i had no resaon to doubt him and given the situation with his Mum i wanted to be extra understanding. then Emma said to sy that we were going to book a restaurant, so to ask him for a definate answer, because it wasnt fair for me to be left waiting, so i sent him a text asing if he could let me know for definate. he then sent me a really nasty text back, and then when i text him apologising for not being understanding, he didnt reply. i messaged him online the next day and the message i got back said that i had hurt, angered, and dissappointed him. i thought then that i couldnt be bothered with him, because if i had upset him that much by just asking for a definate answer then he was a bit sensitive for my liking. oh yeah and a few days previous he had got the hump because him and Graham had swapped sim cards and he saw all the messages i had sent Graham and he got jealous. and him and Graham stopped talking.

anyway, after the outburst about me upsetting and dissappointing him i didnt speak to him for ages. i decided i didnt want anymore to do with him if he was going to get funny over nothing. but i really missed his texts and everything else. so, when i came back to work after my week off (last Monday) i took a chance and messged him and he messaged me back. we were chatting and texting and stuff all last week (well as much as we could, his mobile signal is really crap where he is - he says). he was saying that he would even get a contract in Bristol to try and be near me, which scared me a little, but then i thought maybe i should just take a chance with this. so i've never met him, but there are very few people that i have met that have made me feel like i do about him. i cant stop thinking about him. i even keep dreaming about him. every time i think of him my stomach starts conga-ing. but i think he has gone off me. well i might be paranoid, as i do get when i really like someone. i know he has been really busy the last few days trying to secure a deal of some kind and he hasnt much chance to get on line. he has also said he hasnt got many free texts left on his phone. when i text him he does text back, and they all still sayd "hi babe" or "hi sexy", but they're not as lovey dovey as they have been. i spoke to him on the phone on Monday, and he was lovely as ever reassuring me about my Mum, and i even said i was a little paranoid and he told me not to worry. all i am asking for here is a bit of advice. if you can try and put it out of your heads that i havent ever met this guy, because i know you all probably think i am being stupid being this hung up on someone i have never met, what do you think i should do? and honestly, its not like i meet people on line and fall for them all the time, this is a really strange feeling for me, because not only do i really like him, he is normal. he's not Mallen, or Wizz, he's not hideously ugly (from the pics i've seen), he hasnt got some complete personality defect, we get along well and i am really falling for him in a big way. i havent felt like this in a long time.

so anyway, im not just asking for advice to get more comments, i really do want some advice. even if it is to tell me to get a grip. i am aware that some of you are having trouble with my comments, so if you are then try notes or even e-mail.....i need some help with this one. am i being a complete paranoid knobtwat? (i know you all seemed to love that one yesterday, feel free to use it as you please, but be aware that a £1 copyright fee will be charged each time)

HEEEEELLLLP!!!!!

Little Legs still not home.

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