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Gayla

me Joey and Andy (and My Girl Lisa for a bit) went to the pub last night. after Lisa had gone, we were sat right by the window. Joey hadnt actually told Matt by this point that she wanted to get back with Andy, but i think he kind of knew because i had a voicemail from him asking what was going on and why was I lying to him. Me!! what the hell has it got to do with me?

anyhoo, we were sat drinking, when all of a sudden Matt walkes past the window, looks in and sees us sat there. and he was doing this walk, that was supposed to make him look like a hard man i think, but made him sort of look like a deranged chicken with a limp. i wish i could draw on here what he looked like. but the best bit was when he walked back the other way!! still doing the walk. i was quite literally pissing myself laughing, and then Joey went out to tell him it was over. when she came back in she said she felt awful, because he was nearly crying. for some reason this fuelled my laughter!!! i really tried to find some sympathy for him but i just couldnt. i know. evil.

i think because he is such a complete and utter knobtwat, it negates any good feeling i have towards him. like, he has dome things like gotten me porn, but he accused me of treating him like an eight year old because i dont like people flicking ash on my table. and he brought round other DVD's to watch, but then tried to make out he was better friends with my friends than i am (if that makes sense). the guy really is a first class, A1, complete and utter pillock of the high water. and i am so sorry that his and Joey's relationship has ended.

The thing about Joey and Andy being back together is that it means i will end up liking Smallen again. its inevitable. because he and Andy are good mates. but, luckily, at the moment he is back with his ex girlfriend Kat, so i havent a hope in hell anyway (which is good because then i wont be tempted to slide down his pole), but Andy reckons they have been off and on at least 8 times in the last 2 weeks.

now i am also a bit concerned that i am losing my small fanbase here at D-land. my last few entries have attracted a pitiful amount of comments and my hit counter is barely ticking. have i become boring? is it because i have been having trouble keeping up with diaries (i am trying, really i am)?, is it because i'm a terrible buddy?

if you're wondering where my Lisa is, she has got a new job and doesnt have internet there. so you will have to sit tight so she can get to a cafe or something. she is a little depressed at the moment because of Duncan (or Dumb-Cunt, as i like to affectionately call him)

i have had no word from the Silver Fox. i think i may have pissed him off slightly. did i write about that? i dont think i did. ohhhhhh here we go!!!

while i was off work i started wa-harring with a guy called Nick (Silver Fox, due to his grey hair) it could quite possibly be the most amazing sex i have ever had. seriously. the guy hadnt had sex for 9 months because he has been in rehab for being an alchy, but once he got going.....well.....i'm sure some of you in America probably heard me wailing. the good thing about him was that even when his load had spent, so to speak, he would continue using other parts to please me until my load had been spent. and for that i was very grateful. i dont know if i put this in mt Fat Slut Chronicles, but of all the people i have slept with, only 4 have made me come (well, five now). so i was enticed by his talents.

well, last Sunday, he came round for a sesh, and he didnt last too long. the stupid prat had gone and put hair removing cream on his bits, and they were burning up!

Me: what did you put that on it for?

Silver: because i thought it would feel nice because you havent got any hair there either.

Me: yeah, but that doesnt matter, blokes are meant to have pubes!

Silver: i just thought it would be a good idea

Me: well it wasnt

Silver. i know that now. so what do you use on yours?

Me: a razor!!!!

i thought that because i hadnt had a joyous moment yet, he would get out his magic hands. but he didnt. he got up and started getting dressed! so i also got dressed and put on Parkinson, and sat there with the hump. i then told him that it was selfish of him to please me the first few times, so that he would keep getting invited back, and then show his true colours by having selfish sex where he comes and i dont. i havent really heard from him since. only a few rogue texts, but none of which said "i'm sorry about my poor performance last Sunady please let me make it up to you" more of the "i really dont want to come round ever again, you have belittled my performance, and i am too scared to ever have sex again in case i am made to feel like a failiure" they didnt actually say that, but i am reading between the lines.

so i have managed to stop myself from getting fantastic sex. i would be more upset if i had actually liked him, but he was literally just a fuck buddy. he was so boring he made Fred Dibnahs Made in Britain look entertaining. its only really my vagina that misses him.

Little Legs still not home.

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