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Gayla

Friday night i decided i was going to make me and Joey Baby cocktails, because we had loads of alcohol left over from our week off work. so we went down the Off License and bought every flavour juice known to humanity. i swear, the staff in there must have thought we were going Tee Total (something which is clearly never going to happen).

anyway, turns out i am an EXCELLENT cocktail maker. like, THE BEST!! (nothing like blowing your own trumpet). my cocktails not only tasted great, you couldnt notice the alcohol in them. so we were drinking them as if they were juice, hence ending up completely wasted!!! and ending up in bed before 12. yes people, me and Joey Baby were both in bed before 12 on a Friday.

because of this we were up like larks on Saturday morning. and we had a plan. i had a customer come into my work on Friday who worked at The Clarence Park Cafe (just up the road from us). he was not una ttractive in any way, shape or form, in fact he was really rather attractive and made my stomach start doing the Highland Fling when he gleamed his way in. so we decided that as we were up so early we would go there for breakfast!! so that was what we did. the breakfast was very nice, but i must say Gino (thats his name) was not very prompt with getting the order on the table. in fact Joey, Lisa and Matt had all finished theirs before i even had mine!!! LIsa said "he's probably taking so long because he's making your eggs into a heart shape". but when my eggs (and other components of my breakfast) arrived they were not heart shaped. which was upsetting.

then me Joey and Matt went into town (i love day logging, its my fave), and went to The London for a few drinks. Matt was being a miserable cock wink all fucking day and making me want to kill him in a not nice or humane way. apparently if me and Jo speak to each other more than once an hour that means we're leaving him out. anyway apart from Matt not tragically walking in front of a bus, we were having quite a fun day. i think the London could well be my fave pub. i mean i was in there wearing jogging bottoms for Gods sake. thats how comfortable i am in there. next week i may go in wearing a towel and a turban.

anyway, then this guy that Joey knows from school came and sat with us, and i swear on my life as soon as he walked over i thought "i can smell weed", even though he wasnt smoking or anything. i kept thinking it, when he pulled a bag out of his pocket. thats how strong the weed was, i could smell it when he was across the table and it was in his pocket!!! now me and pot dont have a very good relationship. in fact the mere smell of it is enough to make me start projectile vomiting, so i was starting to feel a little queasy. then the stupid fuckwit made a spliff in the pub. i only got a slight waft of it before i had to go outside. Joey (who, incidentally is a hardcore pot smoker) had 3 tokes on it and she was fucked. do you know what time we were in bed by on Saturday night? 8 o'clock!!!!!

so then came Sunday. well. first of all i woke up with period pains so bad i thought my stomach was actually, physically trying to leave my body. i have never had pains like it in my life. or a period so heavy. i had a blood clot the size of a football come out of me, which concerned me so much i made Cliff come and have a look at it when we were in the pub. ( i realise that was slightly too much info there, but its my diary). then when we got back to Cliffs she showed me her boobs. she has got a lump on one of her breasts, and its not a small one either. she had a lump a few years ago that turned out to just be a cyst. but it was painful and it wasnt as big. this one isnt causing her any discomfort, but it has made her nipple go a different shape. you can actually see the lump through the skin, its that big. anyway, she went to the doctors today and she is going to the hospital to have a biopsy later this week. i'd like to say that i am not absolutley shitting myself at the thought of my mum having cancer but it would be a bare-faced lie.

well, needless to say, after that news i needed a drink. so me and Joey got on the cocktails again. and Joey decided that she wants to get back with Andy. Andy came and joined the drinking of the cocktails. they are going to start seeing each other again, but not live together. i dont know if this is a good idea or not, but i must admit i have missed Andy being around. he has done some horrible things in the past, but one thing i dont doubt is his love for Joey. and she was crying the other night because she misses him. i dont know if Andy just seems better now because Matt is such a complete and utter waste of space, but its joey's decision at the the end of the day. all i can do is support whatever she decides, and be there for her if it does all go Pete Tong.

Smallen kept phoning Andy when he was at mine. he is such a twat. Andy told me to invite him round for cocktails aswell. this was our convo.

Me: Alright Al?

Smallen: Alright Beck

Me: do you want to come round for cocktails?

Smallen: what?

Me: do you want to come round for cocktails?

Smallen: You're going to suck my cock?

Me: no!!! cocktails!

Smallen: so you're not going to suck my cock?

Me: no!

Smallen: i wont bother then.

the thing is i was a little merry at this point, and had i not been on my period in a spectacular fashion, i would have said "Yes, come on round" had i have said that with the state i was in though, it could very well have ended up looking like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. not nice.

i swear every time i look in the mirror i have grown another chin.

Little Legs still not home.

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