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Gayla

and that was my evening.

i really really do want everybody's advice though on something.

now i know you all think Mallen is a complete and utter waste of space (none of you have actually said this, but i can see it in your eyes), but, to be fair, i only really want to fuck him. i mean, i would never want to go out in public alone with him, because people may think he was my boyfriend. and nobodys wants to be mistaken for Mallens girlfriend. he is the most strangely put together person ever.

but at the same time i really like him.

now, i dont know whether i really like him because i really like him, or because i have been single for so long that i am delusional. and anyone is starting to look attractive. i mean come on, i slept with Wizz again the other week. he is so boring that talking to him made me realise the fun i used to have stacking fruit and veg at Asda.

but why have i been single for so long? what is it i do wrong? can anybody pinpoint any one thing that i seem to repeatedly do with men that sends them running away screaming "Get the psycho freak away from me!" (they dont actually shout that, but they as well do)

it must be the fat thing. it must be. i am fantastic in bed and give the worlds best blow-jobs (well maybe not the worlds best, but they are pretty damn good), so it cant be anything i do wrong in that department.

Joey thinks its because i dont give out the vibe of being interested in anything more than a shag. and then i become great mates with them, and all thoughts of relationship dwindle, because they dont want to ruin the friendship.

maybe i should stop calling everyone "Mate"

so anyway, i dont know whether i should throw myself at Mallen full pelt, or just act aloof around him and hope that entices him, and if it doesnt at least i havent made myself look like a complete spack.

so there we go people. what do i do about Mallen? and what is wrong with me?

try not to cry people but no update now until May 9th because i am off work again next week. my sisters are down, so i am sure there will be many calamities to tell of when i return!!

bye

(oh, and if you delete me as a buddy while i am gone i will haunt you. i know who you are!)

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