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(Dont worry Clarity, i know you asked me a load of questions, and i will answer them all early next week. they warrant a fair bit of thinking time though!)

so last Saturday i went to my colleague Jo's wedding. well i went to the evening bash anyway. i spent the day with Joey Baby and Sean in Stotties getting mullered. i dont know why i thought that drinking vodka and orange from 11am onwards would be a good way to meet an attractive single bachelor at the wedding reception, but i did. by the time i actually got to the wedding i was hammered, and thought it would be really funny to tell Jo's uncle (who, consequently, paid for the wedding and is one of the richest men in Weston) that he looked like Peter Stringfellow.a man who is not well known for his dashing good looks, or trendy hairdo. thankfully for me he had a sense of humour, otherwise it could have been quite an unfortunate scenario.

Emma came with me, but she decided she wanted to go out in town after, i contemplated it for a minute, until Em spoke to Fent-o on the phone and he said he was in Senoritas. why was that a problem? because he was with ANDY and MALLEN!!! i know! WTF?!?!? i got the hump then and said i didnt want to meet him if he was with Andy, and he was being a two-faced prick. so i wasnt going to go to Senoritas under any circumstances.(more on this later)

because the wedding was out at a hotel about ten miles away, we got a lift with my colleague Claire and her husband Rob. Rob is a really nice guy, but not really well known for his great love of fun and jokes. well, me being as drunk as i was, decided it would be really funny once we got on the road to say "Damn i left my wallet on the table". not really expecting Rob to do a complete 180 in the middle of the road, and start careening back towards the hotel. well he did. and i didnt want to say then that i had only been joking, so i had to get out and mime looking for my wallet, mime finding it, then mime saying goodbye to everyone again. probably not one of my best jokes ever.

so anyway, Emma went off into town, and i went home to where Joey Baby and Matt were waiting with two big bottles of vodka. when i got back Joey said that Wizz had been ringing my phone all night. then just as i got back he rang again, and asked me if he could come round. him and his "wife" had had a row and he was wondering the streets drunk as a skunk. me also being hammered was all like "yeah come round!! bring your friends! and their Mums!" until i realised A) he hasnt really got any friends and B) their Mums probably really wouldnt want to come round to mine. he turned up at mine within minutes, so to be fair, he must have only really been wandering the streets near to my flat. when he got to mine Joey and Matt made quite a swift exit, because Joey hates him and Matt realised he knew him. because Wizz had barred Matt from his pub a few weeks before.

so. it was just me and Wizz. both drunk. he started getting all "oh, i miss you. things arent the same with Kyli as they were with you" i had to point out to him that there were a few very good reasons for this.

1. i am a completely different person.

2. i am not the most boring person known to humanity.

3. no matter how fat and minging i may be, i do not, under any circumstances, look like a man.

i told Wizz that he really didnt have to give me any lines. i was drunk and horny and knew i would get an orgasm or two out of him. so i just told him to "get in the bedroom". we then proceeded to have quite rampant sex (i know i shouldnt have, but i dont have feelings for him anymore so its fine). just as i was getting close to a joyous moment however, there was banging on the door. it was Emma trying to get in!! i was really really close though so i carried on going. it was quite funny actually, it was like synchronised name calling.

Wizz: thrust thrust "oh Becky"

Emma: bang bang bang "BECKY!"

highly amusing in anyones language.

he stayed until the morning and tried to cuddle me, which is when i said "it was just sex Wizz". to be fair a girl only has to say hello to him for him to develop feelings for her.

he rang me Sunday night and said he thought we should keep it quiet "To avoid anyone getting hurt", i was quite surly with him on the phone, then proceeded to send him a text which said, ahem

"i wasnt going to tell anyone anyway, but only because i dont want anyone to know, not to protect you. and if i do decide i want to tell someone i will. i will not be dictated to by you!"

to which i got the reply

"i hope we can remain friends"

oh, cock off!!!

the other odd thing that took place was a rather bizarre phone call at 3:20am Monday morning. which went

Me: Hello?

Person On Other End: Hello

Me: Who's this?

POOE: its George

Me: i dont know a George. who are you trying to get hold of?

POOE: Becky

Me: Becky who?

POOE: Becky who works up the social with the long blonde hair

Me: Allen i know thats you

(muffled giggling in background)

Me: why are you being a twat?

Mallen: what are you up to?

Me: i'm in bed!!!

Mallen: yeah but you're not asleep are you because you're talking to me!

Me: i'm still in bed!

Mallen: do you want to come round?

Me: no.

then i hung up. WTF was all that about? what is it with men at the moment? what they have a piece of the Becky love and they cant get over it? i am so over men at the moment.

speaking of men, i had a blazing row with Fent on Tuesday. you may have read it in my very brief entry. because i dont think its right that he should be hanging about with Andy. he says i cant dictate to him who he is friends with, but my argument is that Andy was only an accquaintance he knew basically to say hello to, and he only knew him through me. now that Joey and Andy have broken up, i have no reason to talk to him, so why should Fent? plus the fact that he used to beat the living shit out of Joey, and i have had to call the police on him twice in the last few weeks. well, not only did Fent go out with him on Saturday night, the stupid no-brained twat also told Andy that Joey is seeing someone else AND told him that she is living in the flat above me!!! so we had a screaming row down the High Street Tuesday lunchtime, and he kept saying "i dont want to fall out with you Beck", "Well dont hang about with Andy then." i was yelling back "you cant tell me who i can and cant be friends with" he would yell, to which i would reply "Well we're going to fall out then!!!!". it pretty much went on like that. and i will not back down on this either, because i truly believe i am right.

anyway folks, thats about it. comments appreciated. ta.

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